I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
