So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
