I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The feeling are messing with the penis
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
