I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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