I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
