Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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