So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
