the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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