just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
sex in a hospital.. check
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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