He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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