but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
