i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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