You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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