I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
