when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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