There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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