Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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