The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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