I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
