What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
