her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize