Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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