You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize