so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
