Pants 0. Shit 1.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
