watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Enjoy the penises
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
