I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
