omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize