It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
