Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
