Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
