Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
