you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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