i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
