i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize