I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She's the barista slut.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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