and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
