Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
