Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
