if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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