I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
