is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize