yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
