Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
