I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
