they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize