She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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