she woke up with a sticky ear
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize