none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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