Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
