dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just googled if crying burns calories
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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