i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
