CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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