Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
