You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
