On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
