i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
